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EIDX Collection of Acronyms and Abbreviations.
These digits last updated 08 November 2002
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a
Advanced User - A person who has managed to remove a computer from its packing materials.
Alpha Test Version - Too buggy to be released to the paying public.
Asterisks - The dangers one takes when traveling through an asteroid belt.
Backup - The duplicate copy of crucial data that no one bothered to make; used only in the abstract.
Balderdash - A rapidly receding hairline.
Carcinoma - A
valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
- A system set up to arrange contacts between consenting bases, or, A
complex set of interrelational data structures, allowing data to be lost in
many convenient sequences while retaining a complete record of the logical
relationships between the missing items.
- A program that allows users to manipulate data in every
conceivable way except the absolutely essential way they conceive of the day
after entering 20 megabytes of raw data.
- De highest, de most sophisticated people in de world.
A spiritual leader who programmed too many computers in the
late 60's - also called ROM DOS.
Database Manager - A program that allows users to manipulate data in every conceivable way except the absolutely essential way they conceive of the day after entering 20 megabytes of raw data.
DELETE(or D) - De highest, de most sophisticated people in de world.
DOS - A spiritual leader who programmed too many computers in the late 60's - also called ROM DOS.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Hard Disk - A device that allows users to delete vast quantities of data with simple mnemonic commands.
Implementation - The process of using farm tools on a large antebellum Southern farm.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Multitasking - A clever method of simultaneously slowing down the multitude of computer programs that insist on running too fast.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent mindedly
answer the door in your nightie.
Operating System - One with a lot of action.
Password - What happens when a flatulent dictionary releases its pent-up verbiage.
Power User - A person who has mastered the brightness and contrast controls on any computer monitor.
Printer - An electromechnical paper shredding device.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Release Version - Alternate pronunciation of "Beta Test Version".
Systems Integrator - A former consultant who understands the term AUTOEXEC.BAT.
- Didn't work the first time.
Word Processor - The sequel to the pencil.
- A computer or terminal slavishly linked to a mainframe that does not offer